We all knew that it was coming. It was only a matter of time. Traditional dating sites such as Match.com and eHarmony have had great success, but now more and more people are spending more and more time on social networking sites. Let’s face it; people are social and Facebook is a social network. Many people like meeting potential matches through friends so this opens up a huge opportunity for platforms such as Facebook.
Believe it or not, I am a big fan of privacy. I keep most of my photos private on Facebook. I am very careful about which friend lists see which status updates. I am very intentional with my posts on Facebook. Would I, personally, be ready to mix my dating life with my professional networking or family interactions on Facebook? No (I cannot even imagine my mother watching something like that unfold!). However, third party applications could possibly be a different story. I have not used any third party dating apps but suppose they could be very useful because they are niche and hobby specific.
Third party app or not, there are many ways that people can use Facebook to meet new friends (including potential dates), however, before you fall head over heels for dating via social media, I have put together some “love notes” for all you love birds to keep in mind.
Love Note #1: Many social media users use avatars instead of a real picture. They might not provide personal information or even use their real name. Always remember that the person of interest could be very different from what you imagine.
Love Note #2: When giving someone access to your Facebook profile, remember that you are giving that person access to a lot of private information. The private information that you share with strangers could be used to hurt you. Be careful when sharing contact details, your address, pictures and other personal information. Make sure that you have your privacy settings carefully selected so that your love interest does not see anything that you do not want him or her to see. I cannot emphasize this one enough. Protect yourself and be safe!
Love Note #3: Social media dating could turn into virtual harassment. This DOES exist. This individual could start leaving inappropriate messages. If you also use Facebook for professional purposes, messages like this could do harm to your brand.
Love Note #4: According to a study by Harris Interactive, one out of ten users on online dating sites are scammers. Additionally, one out of ten sex offenders reportedly use online dating to meet people. I would imagine that since there are more people on Facebook than on traditional dating sites, these percentages are higher for dating through the social networking platform. To quote the words of former President Ronald Reagan, “Trust, but verify.” Do your homework and research!
Love Note #5: “I think it could be a good way to start talking to someone with a fairly low amount of pressure if you have a few mutual connections. If you have zero connections, are not in any groups together, have no similar likes,
etc, I think it could be creepy when people reach out with intentions of ‘getting to know you’ better in a dating way.” (Dillon Rhodes). Dillon, a social networking contact of mine, brings up a very good point. If you are not using a third party dating app, approach dating via social media with caution!
Love Note #6: Maintain a level of discretion and privacy with your new interest, particularly if you are connected on Facebook with ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. Social media makes people jealous. Your exes could suddenly resurface to “see how you are”, start flirting with you on your wall and cause big trouble in paradise.
Love Note #7: It is VERY easy to get wrapped up in an “online relationship” and there might even be something “safe” about keeping it online. Do not get TOO involved online. Use dating in social media in moderation and keep the importance of the relationship in perspective. As soon as you feel comfortable or as soon as the opportunity presents itself, meet your interest offline and see if there is true chemistry.
Love Note #8: Go with the flow and be easy-going. How would you react if your social media guy or gal has not called you but then you see that he or she has been tagged in new pictures with different girls or guys? It could be very easy to jump to conclusions here and it could potentially end a budding relationship prematurely. Knowing a wealth of information has its advantages AND disadvantages.
Love Note #9: If you are truly looking to meet your match, be sure that your online profiles are consistent. For example, it could be very easy for someone to write that he or she is looking for a “long- term relationship” on a Match.com profile but then after you connect with the person on Facebook you see that he or she is friends with 500 guys or girls and has photos posted of them hanging out every night. If you say that you are looking for a relationship, it is imperative to back this up on other social sites.
Love Note #10: Have fun with this new form of online dating! Enjoy. Connect with new people. Relax. Make new friends. Be yourself. Learn about others. Be sure to let me know how it goes!
I want to hear your thoughts. What do you think about dating via social media? Is it something that you would do or would you shy away from it? Do you know anyone who has met “Mr. or Ms. Right” via social media?
