It has been a while since I have written a post about etiquette, even though I itch to do so all the time. Every day, I see people do things in social media that make me cringe. I am certainly far from perfect but I try, in general, to adhere to rules of kindness and respect when interacting with others. I believe in the “Do unto others” principle and make every attempt to avoid doing to other people what I would not want done to me.
Over the last few weeks, I have observed some activity on Facebook that makes me shake my head (and perhaps roll my eyes, too). I made mental notes whenever I saw anything that really made an impression on me.
I have compiled a small list for this post and present you with little lessons from Lauren.
- Terms of endearment: Gentlemen (and ladies, too), terms of endearment should not be used with strangers. They, most often, come across as sounding as if they are being used in a belittling or demeaning manner. Just today, I saw someone refer to one of my friends as “Dear” (Maybe it was “Hon?”) and my skin crawled. It neither settled well with my friend nor with me. I will probably never think of this person in the same way again. It reminded me of a creepy guy in a bar who insists on calling the bartender “Sweetheart.”
- Personal issues: Unless a friend has openly talked about a personal issue, the Facebook wall is not a place to mention such things. Err on the side of caution and discretion. Send a private message to your friend. Think about boundary setting and the comfort zone of others before you post something publicly.
- Email addresses: Email addresses are NOT on Facebook to be used for spamming. Facebook is a place to connect with people and it is a network on which to build relationships. Just this week, I had two friends from high school (who I have not seen since high school) lift my email address from my Facebook information. They used my email address to send spam about their new business endeavors. As a result, I chose “Only Me” in my privacy settings so that I am now the only person who can see my email address. I figure that if people need to
reach me, they can send me a Facebook message and we can exchange email addresses from there. Spam is out of control as it is; people do not need it from friends. - Other people’s kids: Often referred to as “OPK,” I think that photos of other people’s kids should be handled in a delicate manner. This is a very sensitive matter for some parents, one that might be a big problem for others and one that is no big deal to others. I do not know what the answer is to posting pictures online as, once a picture is taken, it is your material. However, I think that a little sensitivity goes a long way. My friends with children often ask me how they can avoid seeing their children online after attending a birthday party, baseball game or school event. I do not know if there is a way to stop it but I definitely think that more caution needs to be applied. Keeping a close eye on privacy settings for photo albums would be a big help in reassuring parents.
- Hasty measures: The “Unfriend” button is a very easy button to click. People get annoyed with one another on Faecbook. People get ticked off. People, very often, type things that they later regret. Hitting “Unfriend” is something that can be done in a matter of seconds. However, then what? If done too quickly, you are then faced with the potential embarrassment of asking the person to reconnect. If you feel worked up, take a step back and return to the situation later. Facebook, especially for adults, is not a Friend/Unfriend game. You never know; if you request that someone be your friend again, they just might not accept it.
I hope that these items give you some thoughts to mull over in your mind. I will, without a doubt, be writing more about this but until then, I leave you with this question: What other lessons can be applied to make Facebook a nicer experience?
