For the past few blog posts, I have been focusing on the action of blocking people on Facebook. While most of us think that Facebook is for fun and games, the social networking platform is actually much more than that. There are consequences for your “real life” behavior and, in many instances, you will face consequences for your online behavior, as well.
Before any of us would confront a co-worker, friend, family member, etc., we would probably think through the process. We would think about our motivation, our tactic, our approach, the repercussions, etc. Many times, people do not think this through thoroughly enough before taking an action against someone on Facebook. I am thinking that this is because acting out against someone on Facebook can be as simple as pressing a single button. I truly believe that people need to consider this more heavily, though, because the actions that you take online are just as real as actions that you take anywhere else and they do impact your identity as a whole. If you are going to be online, you have to think on your toes, think smart and think socially.
In today’s society, we have to add a new component to the traditional and dominant paradigm of “social intelligence”. In a very small nutshell, social intelligence is our way of dealing with other people. With the addition of online interactions, we have to consider our internet behavior as a part of our intellect. Generations before us did not have to do this but we have to weigh it heavily in just about everything we do online.
As a social media enthusiast, I could go on and on about social intellect. The social worker in me would be compelled to write a dissertation on social intelligence right here and right now but I am choosing to spare you all! I do, however, recommend that you check out the book Social Intelligence: The New Science of
Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman for additional insight on the topic.
My goal here, however, is to educate on social intelligence as it pertains to social networking. From reading my previous posts on Facebook blocking and the consequences of it, I think you all have a general idea of what it is and what the aftermath of it could include. Moving forward, I decided that I wanted to see how people choose to act online. Do they hold back? Put it all out there? Find a middle ground?
As usual, I posted a question on my fan page:
“As more & more interactions happen ONLINE, do you feel as though you have to modify your social intellect? Are you more careful now (because social media is like living in a sociological fish bowl) or are you throwing caution to the wind? If you are growing with the times and increasing your social intelligence and awareness, how are you doing it?”
Replies were pretty similar to each other:
- “It’s called ‘Facebook’, not ‘Openbook’, as some people have no qualms about posting all the drama of their lives…sometimes overstepping the line of integrity and character. I try to be very purposeful with my posts, in an effort to bring value to others.”
- “I would love to say that I am throwing caution to the wind but I am a firm believer that nothing on the web is private. I also believe that my actions affect others and it is amplified on the web. So, in short, social media makes me a better person.”
Both of these replies indicate that throwing total caution to the wind is not appropriate for Facebook. As I think about areas in which throwing caution to the wind could have serious effects, the following come to mind:
- Parents: Moms and Dads, do you think that your kids won’t find pictures of you on Facebook when they
are old enough to have accounts? Of course they will! Be careful with what you post! - Employees/C0-workers: Just like I told the parents above, the same goes for you. Be careful with your posts, your updates, your replies, your responses and your photos. You never know when Mr./Ms. Boss is going to see “the real you”.
- Stalkers: I cannot believe that I even have to address this group of people but I feel that it must be done. Stalking on Facebook might be appealing but do not think that you are not leaving a trail. You are. You will get blocked, you will get reported and you CAN get found.
- Spammers: Anyone who uses Facebook as a professional tool for networking has probably encountered a spammer or 2. You can recognize them right away. They bombard your news feed, your wall and sometimes even your inbox with links to their “revolutionary”, “game changing” new product. Often times (but not always!), the product fizzles and you think they are done, right? Wrong! The spammers return with “the next hot thing”.
I know that I have talked about blocking people on Facebook in a negative light but some of the groups of people mentioned above might be worthy of being blocked. If you are being stalked, BLOCK! If you are being spammed, BLOCK! If someone is unnecessarily contacting you in a way that you do not want, BLOCK! If someone is putting your family at risk or threatening to put your family at risk, BLOCK!
This is ALL a part of social intellect. Social intellect, again, is our way of dealing with people. Sometimes we need to put our foot down and cut people out of our lives. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as it is to our benefit, not something we will regret and something that does not harm us in the long run.
Facebook is a place to be real, authentic and genuine. At the same time, however, it should also be a place to bring out the best in us. Can we have a bad day? Sure! Can we rely on our Facebook friends on our lousy days? Of course! Should we always try to put our best foot forward, though? Absolutely.
Think about your actions. Think about your behavior. Think about your interactions. Think about your social intellect as it applies to the social era. What changes can YOU make?
